The Machine Girl (2008)

Directed by: Noboru Iguchi
Starring: Minase Yashiro, Asami, Nobuhiro Nishimura, Honoka, Kentaro Shimazu, Ryousuke Kawamura

(out of 4)

Wow, don’t I feel inadequate!

About 13 minutes in to Noboru Iguchi’s Kataude mashin gâru (from here on referred to as The Machine Girl), teenage yakuza/ninja in training Sho (Nobuhiro Nishimura) is made to drink his father’s (Kentaro Shimazu) blood, which flows from dad’s wrist to son’s mouth in copious amounts of crimson, to “strengthen their bond”. Of course, by this time, we’ve already seen our heroine Ami Hyuga (a cute and tough Minase Yashiro in her first acting role) take revenge on multiple teen yakuza bullies by blasting them to pieces with a machine gun attached to the stump where her arm used to be.

The Machine Girl is full of flying limbs, decapitated heads, chopped fingers, and spurting blood so plentiful that in some scenes it sprays the camera lens - just one of the few homages to Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead  movies (the giveaway is the arm-machine-gun attachment, which in 2008 generates comparisons to Rodriguez’ Planet Terror, but when I see souped-up ass-kicker Ami dispatch multiple assholes in gory fashion, it seems to me like she’s a certain reincarnation of Bruce Campbell’s Ash). And like Ash, who was a mild mannered S-Mart employee turned unwanted hero, so too, is Ami: originally non-violent, shunned by her community for crimes her parents didn’t commit, wrongfully called a murderer, and having her brother Yu (Ryôsuke Kawamura) killed by Sho’s gang, she is finally driven to ironically fulfill the role assigned to her.

Oh my God! They’ve killed Kenny! You Bastards!

Later on, when physically tortured by Sho’s family, which includes the completely insane dragon lady mom (Honoka - another AV actress hottie who would be at home in a Tarantino flick), Ami begins her physical transformation into monster/instrument of revenge. But by that time, her psyche has already started the journey. Speaking of Tarantino, comparisons between Ami and Uma Thurman’s bride from the Kill Bill movies is not off the mark. Even the beginning title sequence seems ripped from Tarantino, who of course gets his inspiration from 70s grindhouse cinema. So it’s the east stealing from the west stealing from the east, and around and around we go!

Let’s be honest here - this movie isn’t for the kids. While it’s true that the film is done up like a live action anime (the music sounds like it comes straight out of Dragonball Z; the camera likes to pan right to left over a character’s face, just like in anime), and much of the gore is delivered over the top with humorous intent (think Riki-Oh, or maybe early Peter Jackson splatter like Bad Taste and Dead-Alive), it’s still pretty harsh stuff. Ami spraying blood from a headless victim into the face of the victim’s dad may be funny for the sheer balls of it, but seriously, damn. What about the poor chef forced to eat sushi made from his own fingers or the mother and son who have the tops of their heads sliced off and exchanged? I think you get the idea.

Not bad, but needs more soy and wasabi

Then again, bubbling up through all the pools of blood is this concept of that blood’s capacity to bond a family together. Whether someone is good or evil, they always have parents who love them, right? The strong ties between Ami and her brother, Sho and his parents, Takeshi and his parents Suguru and Miki, take center stage. For example, the ninja squad sent to kill Ami and Miki (Japanese model Asami - also hot) are, of course, slaughtered in gory fashion. The grieving parents are then recruited into the “Super Mourner Gang” to get revenge. (They all wear pictures of their slain sons on their chest, while occasionally shouting out their kids names). Iguchi is interested in exploring themes of revenge begetting revenge, and of blood feuds, and of the bonds between parents and children. That is, when he’s not aiming geysers of blood at us.

The performances, especially from the female leads, are energetic which matches director Iguchi’s hyper kinetic visual style of filming. It’s Honoka’s evil babe Mamma Hattori that steals the show, however - her character is completely off the deep end - I mean, her weapon of choice is a drill bra. That’s right, a drill bra.

Comes from the Victoria’s Secret in Akihabara

The Machine Girl is surreal, gory, offensive, funny, outrageous, twisted, and absolutely, positively Japanese.

- Bill G

There is an interview with Caroline Munro in the June edition of ZANI.

You might remember Caroline Munro from Dracula A.D. 1972, Maniac, Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter, and The Spy Who Loved Me.

Excerpts:

ZANI – Do you think, by then, the whole Hammer Horror genre was coming to an end? … maybe there was a natural change in people’s taste.

Caroline Munro – Maybe the Hammer thing was coming to a natural end, but I wasn’t partially aware of it, as I had just signed a year’s contract with Hammer. Which did run for a year. I just think maybe Kronos didn’t have enough of the stuff that had made Hammer famous. You know, heaving bosoms and blood and guts

…

Caroline Munro – There are a few people I would like to work with now, in the genre that appeals to me, in which I could do something for and I would love to work with.

ZANI – I take it Russell T Davies is one.

Caroline Munro – Yes and the others are Quentin Tarantino, a big one I know. Tim Burton and Rob Zombie. Rob Zombie produces interesting work for me, and he uses old girls and boys.

Caroline Munro – Lots people of think Peter (Cushing) just did horror, but he was a serious actor. Yes he was a serious actor, but very funny. I got the chance to work with him twice. Dracula 1972 AD and 2nd time At The Earth’s Core with Doug McClure. Where I got to have a lot of dialogue scenes with Peter. I got to know Peter well off the set. He was the sweetest and loveliest man you could hope to meet.

Christopher Lee is a big man, very handsome. I think when I did Dracula 1972 AD with him that was a big turning point in me, in realising that I wanted to be an actor. A lot of that was down to working with Christopher. I believed that I was Laura. I had never experienced anything like that in my life before. I was inspired by sprit of the young people there, like Christopher Neame, Stephanie Beacham, and Marsha Hunt.

…

Caroline Munro – I loved the Mod scene, I remember going with my friend Anne Hamilton on a top of the bus, to Brighton, to watch the Mods and the Rockers fight. We were very young, we had to stay on the bus because all the police were there. We weren’t meant to be there, as we were only 13, or 14. I remember watching the Mods fight, and thinking that’s very cool.

…

Read the whole interview here.

Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981)

Director: Steve Miner
Starring: Amy Steel, John Furey, Adrienne King, Kirsten Baker, Stuart Charno, Walt Gorney, Marta Kober, Betsy Palmer, Tom McBride, Bill Randolph, Lauren-Marie Taylor, Jack Marks

(out of 4)

After the enourmous success of Friday the 13th (almost $40 million), a sequel was inevitable. This was quite alright, as horror sequels weren’t so prevalent in 1981 as they are now. Nowadays it seems all we get is sequels and remakes, but try to imagine a time where Jason was still just a legend and Freddy Krueger was merely a gleam in Wes Craven’s eye.

Oh My God! The milk’s gone bad!

The pre-credits sequence plays back the ending of the first movie, where Alice (Adrienne King) chops Mrs. Voorhees’ (Betsy Palmer) head off. Two months later, she is trying to get her life back together, but doesn’t get very far in that regard - Mrs. Voorhees’ head shows up in her fridge right before Jason puts an ice pick into her temple. At least he takes the whistling tea kettle off the burner. By the way, how the hell did Jason Voorhees make it out of the lake, find clothes, locate Alice’s house, prank call her, and then drag her body back to the camp? I mean, I know he’s resourceful but come on.

Hi, I’m Ralph, town doomsayer. I do make housecalls.

Fast forward five years (1984 - the future!), and a new batch of cattle show up accompanied by a practical joke played on Jeff (his truck is towed - haha!) The bear-and-rabbit joke also makes an appearance before Eddie Murphy told it in Delirious. Crazy Ralph (Walt Gorney), naturally, is on hand with his warnings of doom.

Head camp counselor Paul and his girlfriend/assistant Ginny (a spunky Amy Steel) get the bright idea of setting up a counselor training camp near Crystal Lake. Say, what do they teach you at a counselor training camp? We never find out, as Jason shows up to give his special brand of hospitality. Get the body bags.

Here’s a story… of a guy named Jason…

Victims include Ralph, who is dispatched early on while watching a makeout session (Jason doesn’t like peeping Toms). Too bad because Jason and Ralph would have made a good team - Ralph of course playing the role Steve Buscemi played in Desperado. Terri (Kirsten Baker, totally hot) goes skinny dipping by herself, gets her clothes stolen by boyfriend Scott, and then the film has her mercifully killed off screen. Scott of course, gets strung up in a trap before being shaved by Jason’s machete - in the neck area. Wheelchair-bound Mark is macheted in the face - before he even gets a chance to get laid. Total bummer.

Kingdom of magic, indeed!

Friday the 13th Part 2 is typical of Hollywood sequels - much more rushed than its predecessor. The first film attempted to establish parallels with a Biblical Armageddon, and spent a little more time with the characters before putting them six feet under, while this movie simply takes the set-em-up-and-knock-em-down route. For example, Deputy Winslow (Jack Marks) shows up to chastise Jeff and Sandra for sneaking into Camp Crystal Lake, only to be killed at Jason’s shed/home in the very next scene. Well, that’s what you get for just barging into people’s houses.

With this subprime fiasco, this beautiful country home is surprisingly affordable!

The fact is, this film is fairly routine stuff. It’s not even that gory, really. What it does have going for it is the early 80s vibe, which seems a good fit for these kinds of movies. There’s also an effective sequence where psychology major Ginny stumbles into Jason’s cabin and stalls Jason by impersonating his mom. (She simply puts on mom’s sweater.) Jason, of course, conveniently forgets that mom’s head is sitting on a table right behind her. Finally, part 2 steals certain sequences from other films - Jason hasn’t discovered hockey yet, so here they have him wearing a sack over his head with holes in it - that’s straight out of The Town That Dreaded Sundown. The famous spear-through-the-couple-having-sex moment is a nod to Mario Bava’s Bay of Blood, but it’s not as explicit.

Jason…did you get the potatoes for the stew like I asked you?

Friday the 13th Part 2 is a by-the-numbers follow-up with a decent female lead in Amy Steel but rather underwhelming otherwise. Being a bit of a hack-job from director Steve Miner (who also gave us Part 3), it’s derivative in the same sense that other followups to the first film are (like The Burning, The Final Terror, etc), and pretty much gets by on name recognition (King, Palmer, and Gorney are brought back for bit parts). It does, however, try to establish the killer’s psychological profile and play on mother-issues (Jason’s a mamma’s boy - duh - but he ain’t no Norman Bates). As Friday sequels go, I suppose you could do worse.

-Bill G

I really like the flow of the place. The corpses really bring out the colors!

The Devil Rides Out (1968)
Director: Terence Fisher
Starring: Christopher Lee, Charles Gray, Nike Arrighi, Leon Greene, Patrick Mower, Sarah Lawson, Paul Eddington, Rosalyn Landor

(out of 4)

Can you count, suckers?

The Devil Rides Out is a Hammer film about a group of friends fighting against devil worshippers led by a powerful priest named Mocata (Charles Gray). Taking a rare turn as the good guy, Christopher Lee plays Duc de Richleau, the worldly expert on the occult who must summon all his knowledge to defeat the forces of darkness. Thrown in the mix is Richleau’s niece Marie Eaton (Sarah Lawson), her husband Richard (Paul Eddington) and daughter Peggy(Rosalyn Landor), Richleau’s longtime friends Rex (Leon Greene) and Simon (Patrick Mower), and Rex’s love interest Tanith (Nike Arrighi).

The beginning of The Devil Rides Out wastes no time, as Duc and Rex rescue Simon and Tanith from a baptismal ceremony, only to be pursued by Mocata, who wants them back. Mocata, a gentlemanly figure with piercing blue eyes, is strong with the black arts - he has powers of possession, hypnotism, and can even summon Satan himself if he needs to (the devil appears once as the “goat of Mendez” - just go with it). Before the movie is through, we have seen animal sacrifices, giant spiders, a car chase involving 1930s-era automobiles, the angel of Death, and some mumbo-jumbo involving time reversals.

Rex, fetch me my golden gun and lightsaber.

The importance of Lee’s acting presence can’t be stressed enough. Taking a role that might have gone to Peter Cushing, Lee is the glue that holds the entire thing together. Exuding intelligence and confidence, Lee makes you believe in his character, so when he starts chanting strange spells you can accept it without eyerolls. It makes the dated special effects (like the giant spider sequence) acceptable. There are some effective moments, like the appearance of a demon appearing as an African savage, or Mocata’s ability to take over Marie’s will through calm speaking and an icy stare. I also noticed the amount of influence this film may have had over later movies like Poltergeist 2 (the illusion of girl Peggy being threatened; also, Mocata’s visit to the house seems like a direct influence of the “Caine” visit). It is also interesting to note that the character of Duc de Richleau, while in service of the Christian God and Jesus Christ, doesn’t hesitate to initiate bizarre pagan rituals, draw circles of protection against occult aggression, or hold your everyday seance. Whatever does the job, I guess!

These Bohemian Grove parties can be really freaky!

The only problem I had with the character of Duc de Richleau was his reluctance to inform his colleagues of nature of the danger they face and sufficiently arm them with that knowledge. They occasionally screw up, and he yells “You damned fool!” at them, but why didn’t he properly warn them in the first place? I was also puzzled over the affection Rex had for Tanith, which was murky in its backstory and seemed only to serve to move the plot forward. It’s also curious that Rex’s voice was dubbed in by Patrick Allen (what gives?). Minor quibbles, however. The Devil Rides Out is a good Saturday afternoon flick best experienced for its atmosphere, not logic or believability. It’s also proof that much more can be found in Hammer horror (and from director Terence Fisher) than Dracula or Frankenstein.

- Bill G

Hey, we’re ridin’ out later! It’s good to be me!