So I went to Halloween Horror Nights this past weekend b/c I had some coworkers who wanted to go, and I haven’t been there in about 10 years, so I figured what the heck. After a $25 discount from Burger King, the admission was $50, plus something like $10 for parking! Frick!
The first thing we did was the Mummy roller coaster, which actually was pretty cool. Then the Simpsons ride, which was cool too. We should’ve saved these for last because we spent the rest of the night standing in line for 90 to 120 minutes for each of the ‘haunted houses’ they had. And the haunted houses really weren’t that scary at all. And there’s nothing as soul-draining as standing in line for 2 hours surrounded by a bunch of teenage kids with their mindless banter about Hanna Montana, their new ringtones, The Hills, and Tila Tequila. Like, totally gag me or something.
Did we dress as slutty as these kids do back when we were that young? Anyways…thats another topic completely.
Reflections of Fear @ Universal Studios
The whole time I was walking through the ‘haunted houses’, I just felt like we were just pieces of meat being pulled along on a conveyor belt for a 5 minute walk through a pretty lame ‘ride’. You couldn’t stop to check anything out because some 15 year old kid behind you starts to push you in the back and goes, “sup yo keep movin”.
Thats when I remembered this place:
Mystery Fun House!
And how much cooler it was back then. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you get reminiscent about stuff that actually sucked, like Knight Rider or Urge Overkill, but Mystery Fun House WAS BETTER! And you know it! I can verify this with a compass and a protractor.
You had actual rooms that you didn’t have to get shoved along like sausages all strung together! Remember the room with all the mirrors? And the one with the poles, and some were rubbery and some weren’t? And the tilty room? It was so much scarier and fun, even at my age, looking at these pictures, it was STILL scarier and more gross than Halloween Borer Nights! And I don’t remember forking out $60 at Mystery Fun House. It was more like $6. Plus I don’t remember seeing any mini-golf or cool old video games at Universal Studios.
Mystery Fun House
Its kinda sad looking at this website and how places like Mystery Fun House and Skull Kingdom have been put out of business by these huge rip off megalo-conglomerate lifeless tourist-mega park…fucks.
I don’t remember seeing a cool maze on the ground at the front of Universal Studios either. And I don’t remember standing in line for 2 hours to get into Mystery Fun House either, and then standing in line for 2 hours over and over and over again.
Here’s a toast to Mystery Fun House! I say we go find the bits & pieces of it, reassemble it, and point the wizard’s face in the direction of Universal Studios, and add a huge plaster animated middle-finger that points up at Universal Studios. I want real fun back!!!
- Active Ingredient