Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Director: Alexander Witt
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Oded Fehr, Thomas Kretschmann, Sophie Vavasseur, Razaaq Adoti, Matthew G. Taylor
1/2 (out of 4)
Here’s my multipass, bitch!
Straight from the lower levels of Hollywood hell comes Paul W.S. Anderson – another member of the idiot club that includes the likes of Michael Bay, Brett Ratner, Stephen Sommers, and Ewe Boll. What better representation of the damaging effects of the MTV culture than his Resident Evil movies? Resident Evil: Apocalypse is the second film in the trilogy and it makes the first film look like a masterpiece. And believe me, the first film was no picnic. This time around, however, Anderson assigns himself screenwriting duties only and gives the director’s chair to second unit man Alexander Witt. It didn’t help.
Milla Jovovich is back as Alice, the hottie heroine who, after killing off numerous zombies created by a virus in the last picture, is captured and “altered” by the creators of that virus – the omnipresent Umbrella Corporation, which according to the movie has a hand in just about every business on the planet. With the inhabitants of Raccoon City infected, Alice and a few other survivors must escape the town’s perimeters before a nuclear detonation at dawn solves the virus problem for everyone. Complicating matters is a wheelchair bound scientist trying to locate his lost daughter, the corporation’s evil military mastermind (played with Eurotrash gusto by Thomas Kretschmann), and a genetic experiment called Nemesis (Alice’s old boyfriend), which looks like something you would get if you crossed Jason Vorhees with the Terminator, and then gave him a mini gun.
This is what every woman cop dresses like.
I would not come out and suggest never making a movie out of a video game – if there is enough material to work with, there is no reason why it can’t be done successfully. Analysis of the Resident Evil games suggests a wealth of information that can be mined – evil transnational corporation, deadly virus, genetically altered humans… sounds like you could create a nice B movie from the parts.
Unfortunately, Witt and Anderson are not the men for this job. Anderson (who also serves as producer) puts out films that were edited by somebody with attention deficit disorder, Witt’s staging of action sequences is worse than incompetent (you can never tell what is going on, due to quick cutting), and finally, there is hardly any gore content to spice up the endless shoot-outs. RE:Apocalypse is the kind of movie that has a lot of movement, but the movement doesn’t mean anything and as soon as it’s over you can’t remember exactly what it was you saw. It’s like trying to watch a movie at twice normal speed, with blurred vision.
The quality of the Purina hasn’t improved in Raccoon City. (Must be from China.)
Nothing in this movie is done with any care, skill, or brains. The dialogue is horrible, the acting is horrible, the action scenes, editing, and lighting – all horrible. The whole affair is a cheap grab at the average teenager’s allowance money, appealing to video game brains with fast cutting, hot babes with guns, a little nudity (don’t blink), and a lot of flash. The small bits of humor in the piece – a man crashing his car after staring too long at naked zombie hookers, for example, don’t last long, and the ending, probably the most interesting part of the film, comes too little too late.
I think a decent film can be crafted from the RE story, but not in the hands of these guys. They should get their asses kicked for making a movie like this – preferably by one of their own female heroes.
- Bill Gordon