Let us say that the Saw movies (6 to date, a seventh coming October 2010) are perhaps an acquired taste. Starting out simply and modestly, they have with each installment become more complex and labyrinthine. Along with that, the traps become more twisted, gross, and outrageous. Here’s our list of the Top 10 Best (or Worst, depending on your point of view) traps from the five Saw movies. (We haven’t seen Saw VI yet, and Saw VII (aka Saw 3D) comes out in October – we will wait until then to revise this list)
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!
Top 10 Saw Traps
10. See No Evil Speak No Evil
Sleazy lawyer Art Blank has his mouth sewn shut and has to fight off another guy who has his eyes sewn shut. Both are chained to a device slowly dragging them towards it. Naturally, the idea of them working together to escape is made difficult by the fact that the guy can’t see a damn thing and Art can’t say a damn thing (shutting a lawyer up – don’t we all wish we could do that?) The nature of this trap isn’t particularly interesting but we applaud Jigsaw’s dark sense of humor regarding the small twist he gives it.
9. Husband/Wife Trap
A woman who is the victim of her husband’s physical abuse wakes up to find herself attached to him by several metal rods. The rods are strategically placed so that if she removes them, her wounds will heal but her husband’s will not. Jigsaw implores her to “disconnect from the one thing that has brought so much pain” and to “remove the ties that bind”. It’s more amusing than The Burning Bed, isn’t it? Although this trap’s believability is suspect – John Kramer may have been a brilliant engineer but how could he get somebody to arrange the rods in just the right way? That sounds like the work of a master surgeon, and we doubt that Hoffman was such a person.
8. Judge in Pig Remains
Jigsaw gives Jeff an interesting moral quandary. Either burn his dead son’s toys to retrieve a key to rescue the judge who failed to bring his son’s killer to justice, or watch the judge drown in liquefied pig remains. Not really “gory” in the way the other traps are but the “eww” factor is pretty high. Unless you happen to like swimming in pig guts. Gross.
7. Freezer Trap
Danica, the woman who could have helped put Jeff’s son’s killer away, is suspended in midair, naked. You could call her “hot”, except that she’s in a freezer. Water sprays accelerate the freezing process, unless Jeff can free her first. “Icy” is a better word to describer her, but we’re not talking about her personality. As usual, Jeff is pretty slow and unreliable. We hope he wasn’t a waiter in real life.
6. Ice Block Head Smash
Speaking of ice, how about two giant blocks of it? They’re used in Detective Matthews’ trap, and there’s not a vodka tonic anywhere to be found. Poor Donnie Wahlberg. He goes through hell – has to break his own foot, gets beat up by Amanda, and then has to spend months in captivity before ultimately getting his head smashed in by two giant blocks of ice. We suppose this is what it means to be Donnie Wahlberg and not Mark Wahlberg.