5. Re-Animator (1985)
Scene: Hanky Panky With A Disembodied Head
The evil Dr. Hill, after being decapitated and then reanimated by Dr. West, decides to kidnap Megan (the very cute Barbara Crampton) and do a little bit of fooling around with the coed, after professional hours.
We don’t think she’s your type, Doc. You know – type with a full head on her shoulders.
We don’t know if this scene qualifies as a “sex” scene. It’s definitely some kind of orgy – for slime monsters. This quite possibly the grossest thing we’ve ever seen. It’s also pretty funny. Thanks, Screaming Mad George – you figured out how to make us laugh and puke at the same time.
“Didn’t you know Billy boy? The rich have always sucked off low class shit like you!”
Frank one-ups the Belial sex scene in the first Basket Case by showing explicit mutant sex between Belial and his new girlfriend, who looks just like him, except with lipstick! Because that’s what you wanted to see, right? Fun for the whole family!
Just a typical Tokyo day. Guy grows a drill for a penis. His girlfriend is understandibly freaked out, but after she hits him in the face with a hot frying pan and stabs him with a knife a bunch of times she starts getting turned on. I guess she forgot all about the fact that he has a DRILL FOR A PENIS. She finds out the hard way.
1. Teeth (2007)
Scene: Cave Rape/Boyfriend’s No Hero/Bad Dog!
It’s a three-way tie between these rather nasty scenes of dudes losing their manhoods.
Dawn (Jess Weixler) has a problem. It’s a little affliction called Vagina Dentata! And you ladies thought it was difficult when you got your first period! Quite a few scenes in this indie flick compete with each other for best (or worst) horror sex scene. Any one of ’em will be sure to send all dudes into the corner weeping and holding onto their crotches for dear life. A condom should be fine… as long as it’s made of steel!
For example, Dawn leaves this poor dude crying for his mommy:
VD - Vagina Dentata! Get it, children?!?!
This idiot learns that it is not wise to sexually assault a woman with teeth in her vag:
We think you lost something...
The worst (funniest?) bit is what we like to call “You Dropped Something” and it involves Dawn’s asshole stepbrother Brad. It’s bad enough to get attacked Lorena- Bobbitt style by a monster vagina, but… oh, God… the DOG!